I'm not quite sure if it is actually something about a boy, or if it's just something about a newborn, about an infant who is, most importantly, not a 21 month old who yells and demands all crazy sorts of things, but whatever it is...I'm in love with it. I have been enjoying doing the newborn thing all over again. I do miss my sleep, and my time to myself that I used to enjoy when Stella would nap, but it is all worth it. I think I may be a little crazy. Today, while at my last Dr.s appointment for all things relating to being pregnant with and giving birth to Sterling, I left feeling happy to be done with that little portion of my life. Happy to not be going to weekly Dr.s appointments being asked if I wanted to induce labor. Happy to not step on the scale only to see the number go up, up, up and away at ridiculous speeds. Happy to not feel like I can't bend, move, or twist. Yet I still, no more than 2 hours after the appointment, had a little wave of sadness come over me. I wanted to once again be pregnant, to once again have the excitement of another little personality coming into our family. This happened after Stella too. She was two months old and Andy and I were out exploring South Carolina while on a drive one Sunday after church. Andy said he wanted another kid already, I said me too! What?! (She's only two months old crazy people) Don't worry folks... I wont do anything drastic, I will come back to my senses at 3:00 in the morning. There is just something so precious about a newborn though... and I can literally see it slipping away from me again while Sterling grows older and bigger by the minute. Soon he will be just as big as a certain 21 month old I know - running jumping, talking, walking. He wakes up from his naps a little less of a newborn than when I laid him down. Maybe I should just stop everything and not put him down for a second, but I think even then, I would not get enough "newborn" time in to satisfy me. You should be able to bottle it up and save it forever. I guess that's what cameras are for.
"Little silver" (as my Brother refers to him) has his Grandpa Smith's shy pinky toes. They hide underneath the rest - curling inwards.
So precious... I hope I never forget him just like this. So small, so helpless, so soft, so perfect.
All this being said, there is a 21 month old sleeping in her crib right now who has stolen my heart, and refuses to ever give it back. As I sang her some lullaby's before I laid her down, she joined in with me. Singing a whole lotta jibberish mixed with a couple of words here and there. I don't think you could ever get tired of hearing such a sweet voice like Stella's try so hard to sing the words to I am a child of God while laying her head softly on your shoulder and patting her hand on your back. Today, and most days recently have been full of pure love and enjoyment for the little people (and the man) I call mine. I have been loving life!
14 comments:
Don't feel crazy...I feel the same way, I need another brand new baby, but Geoff keeps reminding me that that new baby would grow up too.
um...i just got misty reading that post. very sweet melissa. and i'm so glad you have that outlook on life and you know what's really important. so many people dont. and don't worry...you'll have another newborn in a while :) just wait till my girl comes, lets live by eachother, and get pregnant at the same time again! love you guys. and i seriously loved that post...and pictures.
So sweet...thanks for helping to get me excited about our new little one. The fear of having two "babies" gets the best of me all too often, and reading your post helped remind me of the sweet moments that are to come.
Melissa, I know I've told you this before, but you are a fantastic writer! You 'spoke' from your heart and it came across so beautifully...I joined with Nicole in getting misty eyed. You do have 2 very precious babies and I'm glad you are loving it while realizing time keeps on slipping...into the future. Love to pics too...they're touching.
I see that Deb and I feel the same way about the way you express yourself. You're a natural. And those babies. MMMMMMMMM.........
LOVE THEM !!!! I'm so happy that you are also quite naturally a wonderful mother.
:) Great post. I wasn't quite prepared to start getting teary. Great writing and emotion. I had a neighbor the other day (who is expecting her 4th and her oldest is 4 1/2 years old) say that having kids can be addicting. I agree. I just don't know if you can ever get enough (minus those 3 am moments). Great pictures and beautiful babes.
He sure is beautiful, Mel. Thanks for sharing these pictures. I hope things are going well for you.
I guess I'll know soon whether it's something about a boy or a newborn. I'm guessing it's just so different than a girl. I can't wait to dress him up like this cute little man. I think he's going to be pretty tiny and I can't wait to hold a little baby again.
You are such a great example to me. Being a mom just looks so good on you. So often you hear people complaining about how hard it is (which I don't doubt that), but you truly seem to enjoy it. I'm so glad you share all these sweet memories and thoughts about your babies. I hope when that day comes for me, I can be just like you and soak up every minute of it.
What a precious post! I know just how you feel. I miss the newborn stage and when I had to have my tubes tied I felt like a part of me died a little. I thought "what did I do?!" True, my health was more important and my children need their mother here but it saddened me to never be pregnant again.I completely love being a mommy. It's all I ever wanted to do. Do you remember the song "When I grow up I want to be a mother"? That song is me...and you.
P.S. It was nice seeing you last night!We were on a "date" with two of the 5 kids.lol
That was beautifully written!.. tear... Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings. The pictures are awesome as well.
Oh man...at this very moment I have tears rolling down my face. That touched my heart. I love them and I am how many miles away? I can't even imagine what you feel. That was beautiful. You should save that little snipit for your journal. Love you!!!
That's so sweet Mel and I feel exactly the same way as you do. I know that new babies are hard, too, but as we are in a pretty good routine with a 19 month old and a 4 month old, I can't help wanting to add another one, too. Too bad I have to wait because I promised myself to lose the baby weight before I gain it all back again. :o) (That, and I need to have a period again. Kind of crucial!)
love these pictures. they are beautiful.
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